I am back from Burning Man... it was glorious and dusty and hot and crazy and absolutely insane.
I'm going to call it the Honeymoon from Hell... in a good way. Though I have told Nick that our next vacation will involve beaches, massages, and big ass comfy beds in a quiet hotel.
I will post pictures someday... I'm aiming for this week sometime, but realistically... we haven't even unpacked everything because we're tired and I never want to touch the Playa Dust ever again. Unfortunately, everything is covered in it... (we brought you some home as a "gift" from the event. Imagine sweating a whole bunch, then finding a big swimming pool of the suff, jumping in, sloshing about, be sure to swallow a bunch of it too...
Also - sprinkle it on all of your food and add a tablespoon to everything you drink.
Love and hugs from reality.
-A
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
I rarely admit to crying over a TV show...
... especially a reality tv show...
But this time it was completely warranted. I not only cried, but I sobbed over the breast cancer dance on So You Think You Can Dance. If you didn't see it, you should totally search for it on the Internets. I don't know if I've ever been more touched by a dance...
But this time it was completely warranted. I not only cried, but I sobbed over the breast cancer dance on So You Think You Can Dance. If you didn't see it, you should totally search for it on the Internets. I don't know if I've ever been more touched by a dance...
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
It's been a while...
Ok - so I apparently can't write on a regular basis anymore, but that's ok. Why? Because I say so.
Life's been extraordinary busy these past few months; ultra tumultuous too. Late January we find out that we are going to be having an unplanned baby. After much stressing and fretting, we figure out the major logistics, and we even became really happy and excited about it. We were going to be ready! Middle of February, we told the whole family and all of our friends. Late February we had an engagement/Nick's 30th Birthday/We're having a baby party. All was well. I went to the doctor a few days later and learned that in fact I would be having a miscarriage. Indeed I did. It started a day before we left for Vegas for a work event/mini-vacation and lasted 3 weeks. I honestly don't know how a miscarriage is supposed to feel (other than not good), but this one was downright awful. Painful and long. So that's how I spent my 26th birthday. In Vegas, drunk off my ass, miscarrying. I don't know that there's an appropriate way to deal with a miscarriage, but that's how I chose to do it.
Less than 2 days after the doctor told me the bad news, our landlord pretty much kicked us out. That was another not cool thing that made me hate everything. Apparently tenants have next to no say unless they can afford lawyers when it comes to rental situations. So we had a little over 2 months to get our shit and get out. Yet another thing I couldn't control... We decided that we'd keep looking at rentals, but maybe look into the prospect of buying a house (something we thought wouldn't be possible for at least another 5 years). We actually qualified for a loan, so that was cool. It wasn't for much, but we decided to start looking anyway. We wound up actually finding a place that we liked with a lot of potential in a neighborhood we love. We made an offer. He accepted. Then everything that could go wrong during that process did. I did a lot of crying. All said and done, we closed on May 8th and we've been living there for a month and we still like it. So that's cool - since we owe for 30 years on the place now!
When I got pregnant, Nick approached the subject of getting married. I made it very clear to him that he wasn't allowed to simply marry me because I was knocked up. He assured me that he had been looking at rings already and that he really wanted to marry me because he wanted to, not because he thought he had to. So (when I was still pregnant) we discussed having a ceremony in April before I started to show. Something simple at a courthouse with parents and siblings only. Then I miscarried (see above), so we had more time on our hands for a wedding of sorts. We decided that we wanted to have our family and close friends there to be a part of it. We also decided that we wanted everyone to be comfortable. So we settled on a backyard bbq with some pause for a wedding.
It of course rained all day - except for about an hour - just long enough to get married on the deck and let people eat at the tables I'd stolen from work, so that was nice. People danced and ate and played and watched Final Four Basketball. There was much folly and beer and food and general delightfulness. Some friends got us a hotel room for the night of the wedding, so we even got complete privacy that night instead of staying at the house. It was all very wonderful and perfect. I couldn't have asked for a better day. We had friends and family from Virginia, California, Minnesota, Arizona, and Alaska make it to Ft. Collins for the event. We are loved.
So while it's been one hell of a year, good and bad, things look good for the future. I'm extraordinarily happy with most things in my life right now. I will still be sad forever about the miscarriage, but I carry and deal with that sadness in a different way, and it's made me a different person. I now know that I want a kid (very badly), and Nick knows that I want one, and we'll find a time that is right for us to have one... Or, we'll have another "oops" and have one that way. We're not really planners, so it would be very fitting that we wouldn't plan that either.
Life's been extraordinary busy these past few months; ultra tumultuous too. Late January we find out that we are going to be having an unplanned baby. After much stressing and fretting, we figure out the major logistics, and we even became really happy and excited about it. We were going to be ready! Middle of February, we told the whole family and all of our friends. Late February we had an engagement/Nick's 30th Birthday/We're having a baby party. All was well. I went to the doctor a few days later and learned that in fact I would be having a miscarriage. Indeed I did. It started a day before we left for Vegas for a work event/mini-vacation and lasted 3 weeks. I honestly don't know how a miscarriage is supposed to feel (other than not good), but this one was downright awful. Painful and long. So that's how I spent my 26th birthday. In Vegas, drunk off my ass, miscarrying. I don't know that there's an appropriate way to deal with a miscarriage, but that's how I chose to do it.
Less than 2 days after the doctor told me the bad news, our landlord pretty much kicked us out. That was another not cool thing that made me hate everything. Apparently tenants have next to no say unless they can afford lawyers when it comes to rental situations. So we had a little over 2 months to get our shit and get out. Yet another thing I couldn't control... We decided that we'd keep looking at rentals, but maybe look into the prospect of buying a house (something we thought wouldn't be possible for at least another 5 years). We actually qualified for a loan, so that was cool. It wasn't for much, but we decided to start looking anyway. We wound up actually finding a place that we liked with a lot of potential in a neighborhood we love. We made an offer. He accepted. Then everything that could go wrong during that process did. I did a lot of crying. All said and done, we closed on May 8th and we've been living there for a month and we still like it. So that's cool - since we owe for 30 years on the place now!
When I got pregnant, Nick approached the subject of getting married. I made it very clear to him that he wasn't allowed to simply marry me because I was knocked up. He assured me that he had been looking at rings already and that he really wanted to marry me because he wanted to, not because he thought he had to. So (when I was still pregnant) we discussed having a ceremony in April before I started to show. Something simple at a courthouse with parents and siblings only. Then I miscarried (see above), so we had more time on our hands for a wedding of sorts. We decided that we wanted to have our family and close friends there to be a part of it. We also decided that we wanted everyone to be comfortable. So we settled on a backyard bbq with some pause for a wedding.
It of course rained all day - except for about an hour - just long enough to get married on the deck and let people eat at the tables I'd stolen from work, so that was nice. People danced and ate and played and watched Final Four Basketball. There was much folly and beer and food and general delightfulness. Some friends got us a hotel room for the night of the wedding, so we even got complete privacy that night instead of staying at the house. It was all very wonderful and perfect. I couldn't have asked for a better day. We had friends and family from Virginia, California, Minnesota, Arizona, and Alaska make it to Ft. Collins for the event. We are loved.
So while it's been one hell of a year, good and bad, things look good for the future. I'm extraordinarily happy with most things in my life right now. I will still be sad forever about the miscarriage, but I carry and deal with that sadness in a different way, and it's made me a different person. I now know that I want a kid (very badly), and Nick knows that I want one, and we'll find a time that is right for us to have one... Or, we'll have another "oops" and have one that way. We're not really planners, so it would be very fitting that we wouldn't plan that either.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Things have gotten drastically better...
Number 1 - We closed on our house - we are officially the proud owners of a 30 year mortgage... oh yeah, and a house! We've been painting, digging, mowing, cleaning, moving and fencing since 2 hours after receiving the keys to the place.
Number 2 - We will officially have a reverend for our wedding! Josh will be there, and he will likely say some brilliantly fantastic things that may or may not be true - either way - YAY!
Number 3 - Other wedding plans seem to be falling into place nicely. We will have food, beverages, entertainment, and folly. I think it will be one hell of a party with friends and family from most everywhere USA. Much excitement!!!
Number 4 - I lost some more weight - then I gained it back - then I lost it again. I believe this is a rinse and repeat process. I will do my damnedest to lose another 5 by the wedding day, but I have definitely reached reality about the situation. Grama did the fitting for the dress on Saturday - and as long as I don't gain anymore, the dress will still fit. If I gain more, well then I might be getting married NAKED because there was no more room for give in the material!
Number 5 - I'm going to stick with this good vibes lifestyle for now. Things seem to have gotten back on track, save for the biggest derailment of my life thus far in February. I am happy. There are of course days of bitching and sadness, but I've got to work with what I've been given and what I've earned.
Number 2 - We will officially have a reverend for our wedding! Josh will be there, and he will likely say some brilliantly fantastic things that may or may not be true - either way - YAY!
Number 3 - Other wedding plans seem to be falling into place nicely. We will have food, beverages, entertainment, and folly. I think it will be one hell of a party with friends and family from most everywhere USA. Much excitement!!!
Number 4 - I lost some more weight - then I gained it back - then I lost it again. I believe this is a rinse and repeat process. I will do my damnedest to lose another 5 by the wedding day, but I have definitely reached reality about the situation. Grama did the fitting for the dress on Saturday - and as long as I don't gain anymore, the dress will still fit. If I gain more, well then I might be getting married NAKED because there was no more room for give in the material!
Number 5 - I'm going to stick with this good vibes lifestyle for now. Things seem to have gotten back on track, save for the biggest derailment of my life thus far in February. I am happy. There are of course days of bitching and sadness, but I've got to work with what I've been given and what I've earned.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Toys, Weight Gain, and MORE!
Toys: I got my iPhone yesterday. I'm in love with it. I never really thought a phone should do much more than make calls, and more recently, text. The iPhone, however has changed me. I kind of don't really accept it as a phone. It is a toy. Work is paying for it - making it that much better!
Another toy: My Sonicare toothbrush. Who gets excited over a toothbrush?! That's right, me. It's great. My teeth feel all shiny and new everytime I brush. What could be better?
Weight gain: I was surprisingly shocked that I have only gained 2.7 of the weight back that I'd lost before the miscarriage. Because after the miscarriage - I didn't do much of anything for a long time. I'm talking sitting on the couch eating mass amounts of fried foods, ice cream, soda, frosting, etc. Didn't work out at all. I have finally gotten back into the swing of things this week. Working out on a regular basis. Trying to eat better. What with the getting married and all - I should probably give it a go.
MORE: Wedding plans are kind of in place... things will work out. They have to. I say so.
Another toy: My Sonicare toothbrush. Who gets excited over a toothbrush?! That's right, me. It's great. My teeth feel all shiny and new everytime I brush. What could be better?
Weight gain: I was surprisingly shocked that I have only gained 2.7 of the weight back that I'd lost before the miscarriage. Because after the miscarriage - I didn't do much of anything for a long time. I'm talking sitting on the couch eating mass amounts of fried foods, ice cream, soda, frosting, etc. Didn't work out at all. I have finally gotten back into the swing of things this week. Working out on a regular basis. Trying to eat better. What with the getting married and all - I should probably give it a go.
MORE: Wedding plans are kind of in place... things will work out. They have to. I say so.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
A light at the end of the tunnel...
Ok - so some good news.
We put an offer in on a house and the seller accepted it, so barring any forseeable disasters (which for us are commonplace anymore), we will be homeowners on May 8, 2009. Please wish us luck (because damn will we need it).
Also - as of 2 days ago it was smooth sailing with the wedding business. As of yesterday evening, it seems that we may not have a minister after all. Obviously we're doing a mad scramble to figure out a plan B, but we haven't figured one out yet. The really retarded part is that I mailed all the invites yesterday about 2 hours before I found out that our minister would likely be unable to attend.
It will all work out - or it won't, either way, it's on May 23, because the invites are already out. So I guess we'll do some figureing of some sort... Such is the story of my life.
You know - I had two pretty fantastic years. Fairly easy, definitely awesome... but I would gladly trade all the shit that's gone down in the last 2 months for just a little bit of shit to happen each year. I don't need it to pile and explode like this. Another round of this and I will probably walk away from everything and go camping for the rest of my life.
We put an offer in on a house and the seller accepted it, so barring any forseeable disasters (which for us are commonplace anymore), we will be homeowners on May 8, 2009. Please wish us luck (because damn will we need it).
Also - as of 2 days ago it was smooth sailing with the wedding business. As of yesterday evening, it seems that we may not have a minister after all. Obviously we're doing a mad scramble to figure out a plan B, but we haven't figured one out yet. The really retarded part is that I mailed all the invites yesterday about 2 hours before I found out that our minister would likely be unable to attend.
It will all work out - or it won't, either way, it's on May 23, because the invites are already out. So I guess we'll do some figureing of some sort... Such is the story of my life.
You know - I had two pretty fantastic years. Fairly easy, definitely awesome... but I would gladly trade all the shit that's gone down in the last 2 months for just a little bit of shit to happen each year. I don't need it to pile and explode like this. Another round of this and I will probably walk away from everything and go camping for the rest of my life.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Fuck this.
The next time I think I should sell something on eBay I'm just going to take whatever item it was that I planned to sell out to a shooting range and blow it up.
Nothing is working in my life right now. Everything is in a state of turmoil. I'm hateful and depressed and not interested in doing anything other than sleeping. I can't sleep though - so that's cool.
I promised that I would be grateful for something after I returned from Vegas, so here it is:
I'm grateful things aren't worse than they are now because if they were I'd probably give up.
Nothing is working in my life right now. Everything is in a state of turmoil. I'm hateful and depressed and not interested in doing anything other than sleeping. I can't sleep though - so that's cool.
I promised that I would be grateful for something after I returned from Vegas, so here it is:
I'm grateful things aren't worse than they are now because if they were I'd probably give up.
Monday, March 2, 2009
In light of recent events.
I will be posting something that I'm happy about or grateful for on a daily basis.... Starting next week.
I'm still sad and angry and not really interested in finding the good in life yet... and I'm going to Vegas later this week where I will likely be drunk a lot.
I'm still sad and angry and not really interested in finding the good in life yet... and I'm going to Vegas later this week where I will likely be drunk a lot.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Good News - Bad News... blatantly stolen from Lindsay
- Bad News: (yes - this is a Monday, we begin with Bad) My ipod was stolen from work.
- Bad News again: The president of our company's ipod was also stolen.
- Good News: He has clout - since his was stolen too, something will be done. I will either get the replacement value out of it, or I will get it back. The man will settle for nothing less, and he has lawyers to back him.
- Bad News: I've been without music in my office for 4 days now. Totally not cool.
- Good News: I've finally been changed to a salaried position.
- Bad News: This was supposed to happen months ago when I got my promotion... therefore I won't receive a raise to compensate the difference because HR screwed up to begin with.
- Good News: It doesn't take effect until today, so all the overtime I got this weekend - is still valid!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Being Positive!
Obama is President today - that's what prompted this post... Along with the fact that I have been trying my damnedest to do just that: Think Positive.
It's hokey. It's cliche. It's so not me. That's the thing though, it is these days. This goal is one that I've officially been following through with for 20 days. It has made a difference. Really it has.
I actually like my job - genuinely like it. It's been so long since I've been able to say that that I was caught off guard by it when I actually started to enjoy it. Things in the department have changed, and they are allowing me to use my degree and to go out and network. They actually value me and my input. I won a President's Award at our annual conference a couple weeks ago, which was a huge boost. It's a big deal award and not many people are honored with them, so I must be doing something right!
Also along with this thinking positive business I've been eating better and trying to be more healthy. These are part of the being positive. I only have one body and I need to treat it well and keep it how I want it. Turns out - I want it to be about 30 pounds skinnier, but this is unrealistic and possibly retarded, so I'll aim for 15 pounds so I can fit into jeans I haven't worn in 2 years. So far I'm down 4 since 12/30/2008. The Wii Fit was the greatest invention ever. Rediculously accurate scale that mocks you when you gain and praises you when you lose... great motivation. Being mocked by the TV is about as low as it gets. So that's going well
There will be more to come, and hopefully some pictures in the near future.
Much love!
It's hokey. It's cliche. It's so not me. That's the thing though, it is these days. This goal is one that I've officially been following through with for 20 days. It has made a difference. Really it has.
I actually like my job - genuinely like it. It's been so long since I've been able to say that that I was caught off guard by it when I actually started to enjoy it. Things in the department have changed, and they are allowing me to use my degree and to go out and network. They actually value me and my input. I won a President's Award at our annual conference a couple weeks ago, which was a huge boost. It's a big deal award and not many people are honored with them, so I must be doing something right!
Also along with this thinking positive business I've been eating better and trying to be more healthy. These are part of the being positive. I only have one body and I need to treat it well and keep it how I want it. Turns out - I want it to be about 30 pounds skinnier, but this is unrealistic and possibly retarded, so I'll aim for 15 pounds so I can fit into jeans I haven't worn in 2 years. So far I'm down 4 since 12/30/2008. The Wii Fit was the greatest invention ever. Rediculously accurate scale that mocks you when you gain and praises you when you lose... great motivation. Being mocked by the TV is about as low as it gets. So that's going well
There will be more to come, and hopefully some pictures in the near future.
Much love!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
The Holidays are over...
... and Hooray for that. They were good, but so rediculously busy it's not even funny. Five Christmases in 2 states, 3 cities and five days...
We had a good time though. Got to see all the parents, neices and newphew. Christmas with the Norvells was a riot - the booze was flowing and along with it the banter and insults. I got to know a couple of my second and third cousins better. I really wish I lived closer to all of my family. There are some really cool people involved.
I got to hold my baby neice and play with her some more, and there's even photographic evidence of it, but it's on my parents' camera. I'm holding some of the pictures they want that I took ransom for that picture. I doubt either of us will send the other the pics they want before February. That's how we roll. Speaking of the neice... I hope I'm as calm and collected as her parents are. My cousin was the least likely of us to have kids, and he had an accident/surprise/gift, what ever you want to call it, and he and his fiance are just fantastic with Jordyn. When I have kids I'll be calling them (yes I did just say when, not if - you may start breathing again).
We also pulled in a lot of goodies this year. I can't believe how generous our parents are. Here we are - full grown, completely independent adults, and they are still spoiling the shit out of us.
Nick and I tinted each other's car windows, which totally makes for a freaking awesome Camry. I feel like I'm in a Lexus or some equally snooty car now!
Nick's mom spent days and probably months sorting through all of her pictures and put together packages and frames of pictures from our childhood, which was so incredibly special. I can't imagine how much time and pain that took and caused.
Christmas was good.
New Year's Eve was also good. We had a house full of people and a lot of liquor. There were fireworks. There was dancing. There was air hockey, Mario Kart, and Guitar Hero. Mostly there were friends and lots of love!
Finally: This year's resolution: To be more positive. If I can figure this one out, I think that some of the other things I'm interested in will fall into place, or at least wedge in easier.
Much love in the new year!
We had a good time though. Got to see all the parents, neices and newphew. Christmas with the Norvells was a riot - the booze was flowing and along with it the banter and insults. I got to know a couple of my second and third cousins better. I really wish I lived closer to all of my family. There are some really cool people involved.
I got to hold my baby neice and play with her some more, and there's even photographic evidence of it, but it's on my parents' camera. I'm holding some of the pictures they want that I took ransom for that picture. I doubt either of us will send the other the pics they want before February. That's how we roll. Speaking of the neice... I hope I'm as calm and collected as her parents are. My cousin was the least likely of us to have kids, and he had an accident/surprise/gift, what ever you want to call it, and he and his fiance are just fantastic with Jordyn. When I have kids I'll be calling them (yes I did just say when, not if - you may start breathing again).
We also pulled in a lot of goodies this year. I can't believe how generous our parents are. Here we are - full grown, completely independent adults, and they are still spoiling the shit out of us.
From my parents: Surround sound to make the music and movie experience in our house fantastic! 
From Nick's Dad: Video games to make us blind, deaf, and fit!
Nick and I tinted each other's car windows, which totally makes for a freaking awesome Camry. I feel like I'm in a Lexus or some equally snooty car now!
Nick's mom spent days and probably months sorting through all of her pictures and put together packages and frames of pictures from our childhood, which was so incredibly special. I can't imagine how much time and pain that took and caused.
Christmas was good.
New Year's Eve was also good. We had a house full of people and a lot of liquor. There were fireworks. There was dancing. There was air hockey, Mario Kart, and Guitar Hero. Mostly there were friends and lots of love!
Finally: This year's resolution: To be more positive. If I can figure this one out, I think that some of the other things I'm interested in will fall into place, or at least wedge in easier.
Much love in the new year!
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