Things to do to piss me off:

• Take my keys from me like I'm a freaking idiot.
• Answer me condescendingly when I ask you a completely logical question (Should I leave the car running?), especially considering I'm handing you the keys to the most expensive thing I don't even own, and won't even own for years to come...
• Answer the question one way then do something else... for instance (Yes, then reach inside and turn it off as soon as I've gotten out.... that's why I asked the fucking question you asshat!)
• Tell me you'll provide a courtesy shuttle with no problem (when I call ahead) and that getting me back to work before my lunch hour is over will be no problem, butdefinitely don't have a courtesy shuttle available, and keep telling me that it'll be here when it gets here when I ask... and that I should just be patient.
• You should also definitely try to convince me to have my brakes checked and realigned as well... especially since the car only has 5000 miles on it. And when I tell you that I can handle that myself because I have a mechanic in the family, you should tell me that yours are better and more certified.... (I really like the look on your face when I tell you that mine is a certified automotive instructor - so suck it asshat!)
• Also, you should definitely not apologize for the inconvenience, because I'm definitely going to tell one of your biggest customers all about this experience... and that will actually be the highlight of this experience for me.